The following results, courtesy of WWE’s official website, are from a recent episode of WWE Monday Night RAW. WWE RAW 1000 took place on July 23rd, 2012 at the Scottrade Center in St. Louis, Missouri and aired at 8pm Eastern on the USA Network.

Mr. McMahon thanked the WWE Universe for helping Raw reach 1,000 episodes
Raw’s 1,000th episode began with a special message from the WWE Chairman, who received a standing ovation as he strutted to the ring. Mr. McMahon welcomed the sold-out crowd in St. Louis to the historic event and thanked the WWE Universe before introducing D-Generation X. The crowd erupted with a wave of applause in recognition of WWE’s incredible milestone.

D-Generation X reunited in the ring, embarrassed Damien Sandow
For one night only, the whole band was back together on Raw SuperShow. Triple H and Shawn Michaels soaked in the cheers in the center of the ring, but remarked that “something’s missing.” As they pointed to the ramp, X-Pac, Road Dogg and Billy Gunn made their surprising entrance, fittingly aboard an army jeep. Together again as WWE’s favorite gang of misfits, the five DX members reunited and took a trip down memory lane. After The Game brought out his signature “Arrrrrre youuuuu rrrrrready” catchphrase and joked about Michaels’ questionable modeling past, DX was interrupted by Damien Sandow, who claimed that Raw and society at large has devolved into common degenerates. DX agreed to humor Sandow at first before HBK drilled him with Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere, followed by The King of Kings planting him into the canvas with a Pedigree. DX then proceeded to further humiliate Sandow by stripping him down to his flamboyant trunks.

World Heavyweight Champion Sheamus, Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara def. Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler & Chris Jericho
Before the match, Hall of Fame announcer Jim Ross joined Michael Cole and Jerry “The King” Lawler to call the action, adding to the historic feel of Raw’s 1,000th episode. The Six-Man Tag Team Match presented an interesting mix of Superstars, with luchadores Mysterio and Sin Cara joining forces on one side, while Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler (at odds to say the least) were on the other trio. Alberto Del Rio did his best to take the wind out of the smaller Sin Cara, but the international sensation connected with a swinging DDT and made the hot tag to Sheamus, who quickly showed off his brute strength. The action soon spilled to the outside, with Mysterio landing an awesome seated senton onto Del Rio. In the ring, The Great White powered out of both the Walls of Jericho and a Codebreaker attempt, and then drilled Jericho with a Brogue Kick to seize an emphatic victory for his team.

Charlie Sheen appeared via Skype to talk about Raw 1,000
Charlie Sheen, the star of “Anger Management” on FX, appeared via Skype to comment on the Raw 1,000 action so far. Sheen remarked that he’d probably fit in well with D-Generation X and noted that he’s a fan of Sheamus’ physical style.

AJ and Layla witnessed some strange sights backstage involving WWE Hall of Famers
Layla tried to share a word of advice with AJ before she said “I do” to Daniel Bryan, but AJ said the Divas Champion’s concern about her mental health was unwarranted, and that “unstable” was par for the course in WWE. AJ then opened the locker room door, and the Divas watched as “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan charged down the hallway, R-Truth and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper played jump rope with Little Jimmy and Mae Young introduced her son — a giant hand — who is now all grown up.

Brodus Clay def. Jack Swagger, then danced with Dude Love
Brodus Clay got one funky dance partner for his match with Jack Swagger. Sporting a red-white-and-blue singlet, The Funkasaurus needed mere seconds to defeat his opponent before busting a move with Dude Love in the ring. Dude Love added insult to injury for Swagger when he shoved a tie-dyed Mr. Socko into The All-American American’s mouth.

Triple H is visited backstage by former WWE Diva Trish Stratus
As Trish Stratus showed Triple H some yoga exercises to help his flexibility, he was caught by D-Generation X in a compromising position. Leave it to DX to find the humor in a totally serious yoga session. Also backstage, Daniel Bryan was seen talking to four mysterious men in white coats — and they weren’t tuxedos. What kind of special surprise did AJ’s husband-to-be have planned for his future wife at the ceremony?

AJ stood up Bryan at the altar and was named Permanent Raw General Manager by Mr. McMahon
Daniel Bryan will never forget his wedding day, but for a totally unexpected reason. With Bryan and AJ both adorned in pristine white, legendary manager Reverend Slick presided over the ceremony and asked Bryan if he took AJ to be his lawful wedded wife, to which he replied, “Yes.” But before Slick could finish asking AJ if she wanted Bryan to be her husband, the unpredictable Diva shouted, “Yes! Yes! Yes!” However, AJ said she wasn’t saying “yes” to Bryan … she was saying “yes” to someone else instead. The groom looked on, flabbergasted, as AJ revealed “another man” made a proposal to her earlier Monday night. The 18,000-plus WWE fans in St. Louis were floored as Mr. McMahon came out and announced that AJ is the Permanent Raw General Manager. After hearing the news, Bryan went utterly berserk and trashed all of the wedding decorations.

The Rock proclaimed he will fight for the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble
WWE Champion CM Punk jumped on the opportunity to pour salt on Bryan’s wounds as the stranded groom continued to throw a tantrum in the ring. Bryan shouted at Punk that he’s the greatest of all time, but The Great One quickly deflated Bryan’s boasting. The Rock came out to the ring and told Bryan that he doesn’t get to say who the greatest of all time – only the WWE Universe gets to say that. In turn, the St. Louis crowd chanted, “Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!” Likening Bryan to Frodo Baggins from “Lord of the Rings,” The Brahma Bull said he wasn’t there to trash the disgruntled Superstar, but rather wanted to talk about the WWE Championship. The Rock boldly proclaimed to The Straight Edge Superstar that he will fight for – and win – the WWE Championship at Royal Rumble, regardless of who holds the title at that time. Bryan angrily interrupted The Rock and claimed that it would be he who becomes WWE Champion and the new face of WWE. The Most Electrifying Man in All of Entertainment mocked that notion, telling Bryan he looks more like the offspring of a homeless lumberjack and an Oompa-Loompa, and then flattened him with a ring-shaking Rock Bottom.

With Bret Hart serving as guest ring announcer, The Miz def. Christian to become the new Intercontinental Champion
Bret “Hit Man” Hart, serving as guest ring announcer, told the crowd that one of the greatest moments of his career was when he defeated Mr. Perfect for the Intercontinental Championship. The Excellence of Execution introduced Christian and his mystery opponent, The Miz, much to the WWE Universe’s surprise. Christian threw caution to the wind early in the matchup by leaping onto Miz from the top turnbuckle with a flying crossbody. The daring maneuver took its toll on the Intercontinental Champion, however, as he landed hard on his knee. The Awesome One then targeted Christian’s weakened joint while on the arena floor and slammed him into the steel ring steps. Christian borrowed a page out of his former tag team partner Edge’s book by attempting a Spear, but found himself on the receiving end of a vicious DDT. Like a shark sensing blood in the water, The Miz kept up the attack and stunned Captain Charisma with a Skull-Crushing Finale for the victory. With the win, The Miz became the 21st Triple Crown Champion in WWE history — a distinction given to a Superstar who captures the WWE Championship, the Intercontinental Championship and the World or WWE Tag Team Championship in his career.

Charlie Sheen appeared via Skype and ripped Daniel Bryan
Michael Cole checked back in with Charlie Sheen, who said he was amped to see The Rock electrify the crowd on Raw 1,000, but admitted he had a bone to pick with Daniel Bryan. The “Anger Management” star told Bryan to stop whining over being deserted by AJ and urged him to “man up.”

Brock Lesnar attacked Triple H; challenge accepted for a SummerSlam match!
Triple H called out Brock Lesnar to answer his SummerSlam challenge, but Paul Heyman once again responded to The Game instead. After Heyman told Triple H that Brock would not face him at SummerSlam, things got personal when Lesnar’s representative referenced the WWE COO’s children. Angered by Heyman’s remarks, Triple H’s wife Stephanie McMahon came out to ringside and tore into the former ECW owner, claiming that he was just trying to cover up for his numerous failures as a businessman. WWE’s Executive Vice President of Creative continued her verbal assault on Heyman, calling him a parasite, and slapped him right across the face. The slap triggered Heyman to accept The King of Kings’ challenge on Brock’s behalf, but Stephanie wasn’t done crossing the line, as she unleashed a flurry of blows on Heyman before Brock emerged to intervene. Lesnar lifted Triple H off his feet and drove him hard into the turnbuckle. Back and forth, Brock and The Game traded fierce punches and knees before Triple H clotheslined the former UFC Heavyweight Champion straight over the ropes. Their fight was over for now, but their tempers were just beginning to reach a boiling point. At SummerSlam, there will be nothing holding back these high-adrenaline warriors from tearing each other apart.

Lita def. Heath Slater; APA (JBL & Ron Simmons) helped clobber The One-Man Band
WWE Hall of Fame ring announcer Howard Finkel made a special appearance to introduce Heath Slater, who challenged any WWE Legend in the back to a No Disqualification, No Count-Out Match. He sure didn’t expect a former WWE Diva — Lita — to accept the challenge. Before the match could begin, however, Lita revealed that she hired some extra protection — the A.P.A. Shaken by the prospect of tangling with JBL and Ron Simmons, The One-Man Band scurried back up the entrance ramp before all of the WWE Legends he faced in the past several weeks prevented him from making a run for it. Thankfully for Slater, the punishment was quick — but far from painless. The One-Man Band was turned inside out by Lita’s Twist of Fate and JBL’s Clothesline from Hell, wrapping up Slater’s string of matchups against WWE Legends with yet another loss. Simmons had only one thing to say about that … “Damn!”

Legendary announcer Sean Mooney interviewed an irate Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan wasn’t too amused with Charlie Sheen’s harsh words earlier Monday night. The submission specialist told Sean Mooney that Sheen needed “life management” instead of anger management, and threatened to slap the “Yes!” Lock on him if the actor was standing right in front of him.

The Undertaker returned to fight alongside his half-brother Kane
Nearly two decades ago, The Undertaker main evented the very first episode of Raw. On the historic 1,000th episode, he brought the house down again with a spellbinding return to fight alongside his half-brother Kane. Despite outnumbering Kane and Undertaker 6-to-2, Jinder Mahal, Tyler Reks, Curt Hawkins, Hunico, Camacho and Drew McIntyre were simply no match for the reunited Brothers of Destruction. The Phenom and The Big Red Machine pummeled Hawkins and Hunico with a double chokeslam followed by a double Tombstone, eliciting chants of “this is awesome” from the sold-out crowd.

Charlie Sheen responded to Daniel Bryan’s threat and offered to meet him in the ring
Calling Daniel Bryan a “goat face,” Charlie Sheen fired back at the Superstar and offered to meet him in the ring the next time he’s in Los Angeles. With WWE heading to LA on Aug. 19, could we see Bryan lock horns with the “Anger Management” star at SummerSlam?

John Cena def. WWE Champion CM Punk via Disqualification
Nearly 250 days into his WWE Title reign, CM Punk faced one of his hardest challenges yet against the tenacious John Cena. The Cenation leader repeatedly used his power to wear down The Straight Edge Superstar, but Punk dished it right back with a series of kicks and submission maneuvers. As Cena attempted the Five-Knuckle Shuffle, Punk kicked him right in the face, and then bowled over the Money in the Bank winner with another sharp kick to the back of the head. Cena’s greatest opportunity to capture the WWE Title came later in the match when he executed a mighty Attitude Adjustment, a move which seemed to leave Punk down for the count. Unfortunately for Cena, the ref was nowhere to be found after being inadvertently knocked out of the ring. It was then that Big Show suddenly surfaced and drilled Cena with a spear, followed by a WMD that connected right on the money. Following Big Show’s merciless attack, the WWE Champion looked torn as to whether or not he should try to capitalize on the interference. Punk’s moment of hesitation gave Cena enough time to recover and barely kick out of the pinfall attempt. Resilient as ever, the Cenation leader wriggled away from a Go to Sleep and locked in the STF on The Straight Edge Savior. The WWE Universe would never find out if Punk was going to tap out, because Big Show returned to decimate Cena, leading to a win via disqualification for the Cenation leader while Punk simply turned his back on his defenseless opponent. The Rock, however, wasn’t about to watch idly backstage as his WrestleMania XXVIII rival took a beating. The Great One rushed out to the ring and wobbled the 441-pound Superstar with rights and lefts, then totally leveled him with a huge spinebuster. With The World’s Largest Athlete reeling, Punk re-emerged to knock The Brahma Bull off his feet, followed by a Go to Sleep as the WWE Universe watched in bewilderment. As both Cena and The Rock lied strewn across the canvas, the weary — and seemingly conflicted WWE Champion — slowly dragged his feet back up the entrance ramp. Even though he won the match, Cena wound up on the wrong side of history at Raw 1,000. He will go down in the record books as the first Superstar to unsuccessfully cash in a Money in the Bank championship contract. Punk, on the other hand, has left every WWE fan trying to guess what’s running through his head, and wondering whether he made a decision he’ll come to regret if he’s still WWE Champion heading into Royal Rumble … and The Brahma Bull is breathing down his neck.